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Terrific Tuesdays! Why I love them!

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I love to read. I also love to watch movies. Tuesdays are the days that new releases in both literature and film are available to the general public. I love this day!

Especially today! I am a huge fan of Michelle Sagara West. She writes my favorite fantasy series, Chronicles of Elantra. If you ever want to read a story that contains different fictional species with a myriad of different histories, suspense, mysteries, and an interesting and very human heroine, then Kaylin Neya in the Chronicles is the book series for you. The most recent book has come out today and I am chomping at the bit to get my hands on Cast in Flame!

I am supposed to wait until my vacation to read this book, but I already see that I will be reading it for the 2nd time when that vacation occurs. So, once I have finished this book, I will be writing a review here. Check back and see!!!

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There and back again….

Yeah, yeah. I am not a hobbit, nor I am elfin or dwarf…. but there are days I wish I were.

It has been some time since I wrote last, or had much to say for that matter. I am now, not only a mother to a precocious 3 year old but also to an almost 1 year old little boy who is equally just as active. There are days I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed. There are days where I would just like to do nothing. I am a mother…. so this never happens. Even on mother’s day.

My son really has a hard time letting me do much…. he wants to be held a lot. And if he is not held he screams. I can not stand the scream crying. It is too much for me. So, I am holding Smiley. A lot. Thus cooking is difficult and so is getting around to typing on my blog much. But, here I am. Trying to write while he is asleep on my lap.

I still struggle with depression and anxiety, but I have managed to do okay in most areas of my life. Patience, at times, is not one of those areas. There are days where I wish I could be a better, and more patient mother to my daughter. She is so much like me in so many ways that it is scary. I want so much more for my kids then to have to struggle with anxiety. My anxiety and lack of patience is higher with lack of sleep. I want to continue to use attachment parenting, but there are many areas in which I have just had to stop, or change tactics when trying to parent my highly passionate daughter. Have I mentioned that my daughter is a MASTER negotiator? She is even using the phrases “lets make a deal” or “lets compomize mama.” She wants something and she wants it 10 seconds ago, but she will use her impressive vocabulary to say why she wants something and try to negotiate how to get it.

You know that t-shirt that says ” I am a co-sleeping, breast feeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, blah blah blah, attached mama”? I am still officially a breast feeding mama. My daughter quit 2 days before my son was born. I was all prepared to tandem nurse, but even after Smiley was born, Sunshine tried some pumped milk and just didn’t want it. I am still nursing my son and he just chows down a lot at night. Yes, we are still a co-sleeping family. My daughter finally moved into her own room, but she struggles with nightmares and anxiety. We would have her stay in our room but she actually sleeps worse when she is in there. Smiley still resides with us though. He is the better sleeper between the two. Otherwise, Sunshine sleeps from 7 p.m. to 7- 8 a.m.  I am still a “sometimes” baby wearing mother. Smiley prefers to be held, but he is outgrowing the ergo just a bit. Now, cloth diapering I save for swimming diapers. Regular cloth diapers just became too much. I am finding I need to really clean house. Get rid of a lot of clothes and items…. perhaps with kid #3 or #4 I will have time to launder such items… but babies make a lot of poop. And my kids especially. So, cloth diapers are out for now. I feel terrible about the earth and the ecosystem… but I can only do so much with the limited brain power and high stress levels I already struggle with.

I guess I am starting over. It is quite a journey; motherhood. I may not always be patient, but I am being more patient with myself. I am not perfect, but I love my family perfectly. So, I guess I will share what I know, what I don’t know, and what I am still learning; As a mother, as a woman, as a human being.

SunshinesMommie:

An acquaintance of mine and her love of babywearing. Its a joy and close to my heart as well. Babywearing is awesome!

Originally posted on Pretty Little Knit Stitches:

This is a hard story to find the beginning of.  It could be my instinct to stay away from bucket seats, my instinct to hold my babies close, or the experiences I had during my babysitting/ nanny days.  It’s definitely a combination of it all that created this strong need to wear my babies.

The first time I was ever pregnant, babywearing was the first thing I wanted to get sorted out.  At the time I had only ever seen Bjorns, so it became my obsession to find one.  Sadly I lost that pregnancy.  A few months later I saw a mama wearing her baby in a beautiful lime green ring sling.  That image forever changed me.  I had to find one.

During my next pregnancy I was able to find a ring sling and even make a few, and also got a stretchy wrap.  After the birth of my…

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