Induction into Parenthood…

Holy Crap!  I am one tired mommy.  Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions, fear, and at some moments, comedy.

Sunshine has some worn out parents this morning. I had noticed the past few days that Sunshine was becoming more and more fussy, and she felt warm. But, hey…. our house is a tad bit warm so I thought perhaps she is just warm from that? The past few nights she either was irregularly fussy (as she is always opinionated but this was WAY different), or she was wanting to cluster feed in the wee hours of the morning.  So, I had not gotten much sleep the past two days.  However, yesterday was a different story in fussiness. Deep down, I knew something wasn’t quite right. I think I reached that conclusion when at 11:00am, she stopped wanting to really eat, and just chewed or sucked on “the orb” for comfort, not for food.  She would cry and cry, and did NOT want to be put down. In fact she dictated how she wanted to be held and that I was NOT allowed to sit down either.

The only thing that would calm her, not put her to sleep but just calm her, was my walking her around holding her in an upright vertical position against my chest.  I love this position normally, but I am going to have to tell you my back was killing me last night and seems to be out of order this morning. Ten hours of walking and holding her has got my back seriously hurting. I texted Mike, my husband, asking him when he was going to come home and that I needed him to hurry because I was just so tired and beginning to get worried. This was at 6:00pm, and Sunshine hadn’t eaten since 11:00am. Now if any of you know Sunshine, she is a particularly good eater; as shown by her big size for an 11 week old, and her tenacity for making it REALLY known in 0.02 seconds that she is upset you did not catch her “I’m Hungry” signal. When she really hadn’t been eating, and the few times I tried to latch her on during the afternoon, she wouldn’t suck or the milk that naturally came out from having engorged bosoms would be spit right back out at me.  Yep, I was really beginning to worry and I was just plain exhausted.  I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, but fear for her little body that kept shaking with the wracked sobs pouring out of her, and the fact she kept hyperventilating from not being able to get enough air in while crying…. Guess what mommy was doing right along with her?!

By the time hubby got home, I was like “Here, please take her. I will make something for dinner.” Oh, she was SOOO not having that.  Usually at night, she sits on daddy’s lap and they do this ‘practice sitting up, talky communication’ thing between each other.  It’s rather cute.  Sadly, last night she was not having that and wouldn’t look at dad but watched me and just cry and cry. I spend the majority of time with her, so I guess she felt I would figure this out the fastest. I felt bad for Mike, but then this is what I get all day long and he had only had a taste of it for 30-60 minutes! When she started hiccuping again, I took her from him and went to try and change her diapers.  Her head felt warm again, so while I was doing that I took her temperature. 100.2 degrees!  ACK!!!

So, we called her pediatrician’s office and I spoke with the doctor on-call.  The doctor heard Sunshine crying in the back ground.  I gave her the information about what I had noticed throughout the past few days, and mostly today.  She then asked, “How long has she been crying like that?”  I said she has brief moments of calm that last about 5-10 minutes, but otherwise she has been crying like that since about 1:00pm.  That is when the doctor said that is a concern and you need to take her into Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital.
First thought that went into my head, “Holy S#!^!”  Second thought, “How quick can we get there?”
Mike got her in her carrier, and then changed, while I changed, turned off the stove, packed her diaper bag, got some water for me and put her in the car.  (Anyone ever noticed how hard it is to drive with a screaming baby??? Ever got pulled over for speeding while this is occurring??  Yeah, that is another story for another time).

We’ve never really been to Mary Bridge, so finding where we were to go in was difficult, especially when we are scattered and worried. At 10:00pm, we got in there, and Sunshine still was calm enough at different points to flash a cute grin and smile to the security guards.  (I swear, people just fall in love with her wherever we go!  What a flirt!! I know where she got that ability from 😉 Also, you ever notice that when you take your little one into the doctor and they have been crying non-stop but once in the patient room they are all sunshine and smiles.  Way to help the doctor pinpoint what is wrong, kiddo!  This time however, she made it known she was not happy.

Once we got her in the emergency room and took her out of her carrier, she let out her cry in full force. Her temperature had gone down a bit since we gave her tylenol after we discovered the fever. But she was obviously showing her displeasure at her discomfort.  So, they did a urinary sample and discovered she is fighting an infection but we caught it just in the beginning and have to wait a few days to completely identify what it is.  They feel it is a urinary tract infection.  (something that is common in infants, male and female, below 6 months of age, and then predominantly females after 6 months). Still, I felt like crap…. thinking what on earth could I have done differently? I feel like a stupid mother, how could I have not known?!! Is it something I have eaten? Did I not clean her enough (though I had asked her pediatrician if I was doing a good job on that and she said Sunshine was beautiful and very well cleaned-  this was a relief again but has to go back to my personal issues that is, again, a whole other post)?

I guess, there is nothing I really could do. I am glad I paid attention to her signals. As a very wise woman (my mother) told me this morning: “You know if she stops eating something she really loves, that she is not feeling well.” We have a very aware little baby who already knows her body, what should be working right or not right, and let’s us know very quickly when something is wrong.  This is wonderful that she is so bright and smart already, but hard on the heart and stresses of her parents, who are new at parenting and may not figure her cries out right away. We have to be good to ourselves, and know that she will let us know when something is not right, which she does so superbly.

After two shots of antibiotics, a prescription, and a promise that the doctor will call us Sunday to let us know the results from the urinary analysis, we headed home around 12:30am. Sigh.  Can’t stress how exhausted we are, and Mike brought up this was the first of possible several trips to the ER as parents.  Heaven forbid there is ever anything seriously wrong.  I don’t know how I could take that.  Guess I will just take it as it comes.

So, last night was our true induction into parenthood.  Extremely scary, and worrisome, but I think Mike and I handled it fairly well. We are assured by our happily sleeping baby, however, that she is doing better.  Fever is gone, she dream fed beautifully 3 times last night, and is due for another feeding.  I am off to feed the precious girl and have her tell me what she thought about our adventure last night.  She loves to talk and is supremely opinionated!  Love this child!

Many blessings to you all, and don’t forget to giggle!

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