So, for your entertaining enjoyment….
When I was in high school, not daring to tell you how long THAT has been, I worked at Mikasa for 2 years. Mikasa was a fine china store. I had two friends from my school that worked there with me. There was also this cute guy that was an assistant manager, and I thought he was HAWT! I so wanted to impress him.
It was within the first month or so of my working there, and my boss showed me this line of china called “Maxima” that came in all of these different patterns and such. The cool thing about this china ( I know, hard to say cool about china stuff) was that you could toss plates, tea cup saucers, like frisbees and they wouldn’t break. On top of that, you could stand on the cups and they were like “super cups” for superman because they didn’t break.
Now on this day, one of the very cute football players from school walked in with his mom. So, added pressure to perform kicked in. In walks this super nice lady. ( I say super because I am a LAMEASS and she was very nice to me). She was interested in one of the Maxima collections and here was my big chance to try and sell the product and get a super cool commission on top of my sucky hourly wage.
So, I showed her the product. She was particularly interested in the fact this one line had a soup tureen. Now… are you getting an inkling of what is about to happen? Well, yeah. (I had my blond moment back then- living in California… and I was definitely blond back then. Not the brown hair I have from living in the Pacific Northwest… oh, okay. Where was I?)
I was so nervous and anxious that I started rambling and wanted to show her how “strong” the Maxima line truly is. Sigh… here is the kicker. (Notice I am sighing a lot, as I felt totally ridiculous after the fact). Soup tureens are NOT aerodynamic. You can’t throw them like a cup saucer or plate and have them NOT break. I totally understood/understand the laws of physics and such, but when my nerves and anxiety get the best of me, I believe my brain takes a backseat to enjoy watching the complete feck-ups the rest of me does.
I very excitedly took the extremely expensive $300+ soup tureen and flung it across the room/floor like my manager had shown me with the plates. Yeah, my manager was looking at me like “What the heck is she doing.” Then a, “WTF did she just do?!!!”
The soup tureen did what most fine objects would do in this case. Shattered into a thousand little pieces across the floor.
What did I say to the poor lady looking at me with such surprise: “That wasn’t supposed to happen.” (I am SUCH an asshat!!) I promptly started crying after this.
The silver lining in this whole debacle? The poor lady, and her husband, felt so sorry for me, they bought a soup tureen along with about $1300 more in the product line. Hate to say it, but the Hawt assistant manager did not look so favorably on my screw up and thought me rather lame… (which I was back then. I thoroughly accept my insecure lame self as I was in high school… because, well, high school sucks. Wish people told me that life is awesome AFTER high school.)
So I will say it. Life is awesome after high school, and after complete screw ups. What did this incident teach me??? That a tentative smile and tears can sometimes work on people to get them to do what you want? Well, sometimes, yes. Otherwise, it taught me I could survive embarrassing myself in front of friends, complete strangers, and HAWT men.
I was even able to find the said pattern that I destroyed. Not the soup tureen, as Mikasa has gone out of business. But, just picture the whole tureen with a Monet flower pattern on it… Why the heck we pay so much for things like this, I don’t know.