Two Steps Forward

This occurred several weeks, perhaps a month ago, but I found this and felt that I should at least post it.. since I went thru the effort at o’dark thirty in the morning to write it.

My daughter for the first time, rolled over and hugged her tigger last night. May not seem like a big deal, but it is to me.

You see, she slept better the first three months of her life than she does now. She is a sensitive little girl who in her sleep seeks out mommy to cuddle her and reassure her throughout the night. Often this involves nursing too. This rolling around and seeking mommy occurs perhaps 6-10 times a night. She is not totally awake, mind you. But I am. She has taken to sleep talking, sleep eating, and sleep crawling so that we have to push a pillow up at the top of the bed so she doesn’t bang her head in the wall. Cosleeping has been a challenge, but the hubby and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What happened tonight though, means progress. She rolled over, like she usually does, and thwacked me in the face and threw her leg onto my stomach. I was awake at that point. She made her fussy noise like she was to wake up again. I put my finger in her palm so she could hold on to it like usual and is assured I am still there. Well, this time she pushed my hand away and rolled over and cuddled with her tigger.

I was shocked really. Then a little sad. This, of course, ended, when she rolled over with tigger, thwacked me in the face with her other arm and then planted her leg back on my tummy. Yep, mom was still there. She was satisfied and rolled back over and cuddled with her tigger.

She needs me, but is taking her first steps, er…. movements?, toward feeling okay without moms help. Moments like these that I feel good about how I am raising her, and that even though we are tired we are doing right by listening to her needs and not thrusting our wants and desires for her to conform to what we need (or what society thinks we should be doing, i.e. Cosleeping vs. NOT). So, this is a little step but I am excited where this little girl is headed. What will she do next? This is an exciting adventure, even at three o’clock in the morning.

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