A Year Ago Today

1/27/2011

A year ago today, I was almost 6 months pregnant.

A year ago today, I sat in a waiting room with a dear friend waiting, hoping, praying and doing a fair bit of crying.

A year ago today, my husband went through surgery #2 for his thyroid cancer. It had metasticized to lymph nodes in his neck.

Yesterday, we discovered that the biopsy done on a suspicious lymph node they had found does not have cancer and at this time is not carrying the thyroid tissue cells that could cause cancer. Doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be there later. But it is the first good news we have had for a bit. He will continue to go in every 3 months for blood tests to measure his thyroid globulin levels. (he isn’t supposed to have any thyroid cells, and if there are they could be carrying the cancer).

A year ago, we were not parents and I was one emotional soon-to-be-mama. This surgery led to a large scar on his neck. It was super scary to me…. to know that his throat would be cut open and how close they would be to his jugular veins. I was so scared I would lose him.

We were at UW for the surgery as the surgeon in Tacoma felt that my hubby needed extra special care to do this type of surgery and navigate the sensitive tissues and nodes in the neck. He wasn’t confident he could do the job since he didn’t do that kind of surgery every day. The doctors at UW do. I remember sitting next to him as they prepped him for surgery. They had a young resident that was learning to insert the IV into his hand. I would say he was rather inept as he couldn’t seem to do it. There was blood everywhere, and luckily Mike couldn’t feel a thing. Nor did he see all the blood.

The resident doctors, the surgeon and several nurses came to check up on me about 4 or 5 times. They could tell that this momma was super scared and looked really pregnant. I totally appreciate the special attention they gave me. On top of that, the surgeon came and spoke to me and my MIL afterwards to discuss how it went. Mike came out of the surgery and being that he doesn’t do well with the anesthesia, promptly got sick. I, of course, started crying again. Why they had me come and see him when they hadn’t even cleaned him up yet, I have no idea. There was blood all over him. Sigh.

I can only look back on that day with thanks. Michael is still with me. We have been blessed with a beautiful child. Though we don’t know what the future holds and we continue to pray and wait for the day we are told his cancer is gone, or that he is at least finally considered in remission….

We hold on to what we have now. We are grateful for what we have. Things may not be perfect, but life isn’t perfect. Life is messy. Life is difficult and challenging. But thats what makes life worth living. These perfect moments we find amidst the chaos where we are truly thankful for what we have and the imperfections that makes life unique and special.

Cherish those close to you today, and always. Even those imperfect moments.

Don’t forget to giggle!

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A Daddy and his little girl…

I had to write this post.  You know, we all have issues with our spouses when we are going on little sleep. I count myself one of the very lucky women to have found a man who is incredibly sensitive and caring, and puts up with my $#*!. What is super special are the time that I overhear him in his conversations with Sunshine, and just how much she has us both wrapped around her little fingers.

Daddy and Sunshine camping

Even from this picture, you can see the cuteness even while they sleep when we were camping. I know how much he loves her, how hard he tries, especially when she is “mom-focused”, and how grateful I am when he comes home early so I can escape and go sing a few hours twice a week.

This was one of those moments last night where he and Sunshine were especially cute:

Bath time has become a family affair. We are pretty regimented in our “dinner-change-bath-story time-feed-bed” routine.  This has proven to work for us, and helps Sunshine get to bed pretty early so her mommy and daddy can actually socialize and hang out a bit together. (We tend to go slay Orcs on LOTR-Online, and I have to admit my husband is a very Handsome level 24 Man Captain, while I am just  a lame level 23 Hunter Elf).

Sigh. I digress.  The DOH (dear ‘ole hubby) was taking over the bath time while I got her night-clothes and diaper ready.  I had surreptitiously gotten 2 new bath toys (eco-friendly).

Little Dude and 'Seal of Approval'As you can see, one is a green sea turtle that is also a wash cloth/scrubby toy, and one is a white harbor seal. We were discussing what to name our little toys while giving Sunshine her bath.  We decided on either “Crush”  or “Little Dude” for the sea turtle, as the hubby and I LOVE the movie Finding Nemo.  While I was putting together her clothes I overheard the DOH speaking to Sunshine and playing with the stackable bowls that have holes in the bottoms, and trying to come up with a name for the seal.  It was really so sweet.  When I returned, Sunshine had this big goofy grin on her face, that totally reminds me of her father. The DOH looked up at me with the same grin and said triumphantly, “We came up with a name for the seal!”

I looked at them both, and said “Really! What is it?”

He had that cute mischievous grin, then looked at his daughter.  He showed me the label on the seal, “See. It says ‘Seal of Approval.”  And gave me a wink.

Seriously. Way. Too. Cute. I LOVE this man!